A View from Year's End

Welcome to 2011 everyone. Let's make this one count. I can't say I'm sad to see the back of 2010. It was a tough year. I shan't say it was long, because honestly, everything since Spring has been a bit of a blur. A lot has happened, A lot has changed. I turned 21, gained a degree and graduated with a 2:1, moved house, bought a wedding dress, even got a job, finally. And I've lost people. Two wonderful people. The greatest role model I think I will ever have the privilege to know. But we carry on. We just have to.

Rob has just set down my manuscript and is staring at me. I'm worried.

I'm actually very impressed. He set out to read  just after lunch (fajita pancakes - lovely), and has got to page 167 just after 10:00. I knew when I handed it to him that there are a lot of gaps, a lot of rushed, unedited scenes, and a lot of things that just don't work, which made it even harder to hand over. But, I had a deadline, and I wanted to keep to it. I should say, I started this post on the 1st, it is now the 3rd. I got distracted, as Rob then proceeded to give me feedback. I have been tangled up in a confusing state of elation, pride, frustration and sulking.

But, all feedback is helpful, I should remind myself. And I should remember not to focus on the negatives too hard. Because a lot of what Rob said was good, and was very encouraging. Certainly for the first two thirds, he laughed in the right places, smiled at the bits I am most proud of, I would say he gasped at the revelations, but he didn't, as he pretty much already knew most of the secrets. This was a shame, as I'd like to see the impact these would have on a first reading. I try to remember his initial reactions when I first told or showed him . 

Either way, the thing that I take away from this initial feedback is that most of the characters, some more than others, are believable and likeable. One or two of the characters, though, need to be developed more, and shown more. Also, quite clearly, the ending needs work. A lot. Of work. 

This is what I have been sulking about. Ok, so it is the part that I have edited, reworked and looked over the least, but it upsets me that this is quite so obvious. There are other scenes I bashed out literally about half an hour before I 'submitted' my manuscript, which my lovely but honest marker said was great. Granted, they were much shorter, but still, I wonder why this is so? I guess it just is. 

But, I should be comforted that all that hard work on earlier chapters obviously paid off. So, more of the same for the latter part. 

Feedback is like medicine - it tastes bitter and like it's probably going to kill you, but in the end it's good for you. 

So, I have a workload for 2011. But the good thing about this whole exercise is that now I have my workload ordered. I have, for all intents and purposes, a manuscript template, with all the bits, or most of the bits, that should be in there marked as 'to be completed'. So for the most part, my second draft aim is filling in the blanks, joining the dots. A little bit of rewriting, then a third draft can be more focussed. That's the plan, anyway. 

And what was I doing while Rob ploughed through my manuscript? I was playing Oblivion, of course. I'm now the Arch-Mage, though it's taken me long enough, and I managed to kill a Xivilai in one hit, which I thought was rather impressive. I snuck up on him, so got 6x damage. I also bought a dress in the Shivering Isles, which I thought looks rather cool, alongside the Sanguine Rose staff. I'm a geek, I know.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is making good progress with their writing, and I wish you all a happy writing year. 

A very Quick Update

I hope everybody had a lovely Christmas. This year was my first hosted Christmas - and I have to say, all in all, it went quite well.  


Our starter was a baked Camenbert with flower-shaped brocolli stalk, carrot sticks and olive ciabatta (from Madisons) to dip. Then I made squash and sage pies for me and Mum (the veggies), Dad brought a chicken dish for the carnivores (he and Heather), and I did roast parsnips, roast new potatoes, carrots and peas, I think. Oh and Yorkshire puds. It worked well, considering how shocking our oven is. Still being in a student house, what more is to be expected? I forgot the stuffing, which, in all fairness, would not have fitted in the oven or on our plates. Rob and I had some with the leftovers on the 27th, and it was very good. From Madisons, of course. I love Madisons. It's on Newland Avenue, in case you fancy popping in. 

Oh and Dad loved his present, by the way. He was very impressed that I'd gone all the way to Doncaster and queued for an hour. Success!

I've been catching up on people's blogs, though I'll admit, I got distracted quite quickly by Hunter's most recent post. New music, I'm there. This is his new band, North Korea. It sounds good so far. I'm keeping my ears pricked up, though. I don't want to get into comparisons, because that's not really fair. I still don't know if Hunter is writing for them yet, though they'd be complete fools if he isn't. 

I realise I haven't posted here for a while - Rob and his laptop were in Chester, and I still have't fixed the internet on my own. Also, I've been a busy bumble bee. Firstly, of course, there was Christmas, but I've also been frantically trying to finish my manuscript. I believe it is now the 30th, so I have one more day remaining until Rob is expecting a draft. He's going to be strict. And here I am, blogging. So I'm afraid I'll be brief.

My Manuscript seems to be coming together. The gaps are slowly closing up. I have to say what has helped is doing chapter summaries, by suggestion of Tom, so thank you very much. This exercise has enabled me to see where the gaps are, or the continuity errors in terms of term time or weather. At one point, I had Ryan sitting at his open window in t-shirt and shorts at the latter end of November... now I know they're in the South, but really. Though it could open up a few character traits...

I'm worried, though, that so far I have just been re-writing scenes. There are still scenes which need to be written and I am rapidly running out of time. So I shall bid you Adieu. 

Hull, I think it's time you and I should break up...

So, in the time it took me to write that last blog, some little bastard managed to steal my phone from right under my nose. I'm beginning to dislike Hull more and more. And it's scary that I could be that unobservant. I mean the phone was on my lap for crying out loud. It must have fallen off, but...well. It's just scary. It was damn lucky I'd backed up CQ on my external hard drive the previous evening, otherwise the most recent version would have been on my phone. So, if you see anything by the name of 'Cosmic Questions' being printed anywhere under some other person's name, that's the culprit. (As if that's what they're really after...)

So, watch your backs, kids. People are mean. 

On the plus side, I have a job. It's a Receptionist placement for 13 weeks starting in January. They let me know within about four hours of the interview. Finally my stint as an unemployed Hull resident has ended. Hurrah!


Quick word count update: 50,200 ish, so I've hit my minimum. 


*Editor's Note: I just realised I called up this post into edit mode again purely to delete one single exclamation mark. My intolerance is higher than I first thought...*

The 'C' words...

Welcome to all the newcomers. Thank you so much for coming on over to say hello, and thanks for your comments. It's wonderful to see a little community of sorts developing, and I hope you can all help each other out too.

Constructive Criticism. Oh, what a phrase. For so much of my life it has been a malevolent entity, wishing only to devour my precious words and taunt me from a place of condescending spite. 

I used to get so frustrated with other people's negativity about my work, and became very protective of it. I'd like to think I have grown since then. I'm still reluctant to show my work to anyone until I've had a chance to edit it, as many of my friends and family will tell you. But anyway, I quickly learnt that feedback that genuinely is intended helpfully, usually comes back to me at some point and turns out to be right.

Why do I mention this? Earlier this year, when I was still a student, I had one class which was essentially workshops for the work we produced for our prose portfolio. I was working on CQ then, of course, and overall I found the classes to be extremely helpful, not least because of the wonderful Kath Mckay. There was a guy who I was in a lot of classes with, and we were two of the few who ever actually turned up to workshops, meaning that a lot of my feedback was from him, which was good because it was consitent, and I knew he had a sense of how it had developed.
I remember once particular piece of Constructive Criticism he gave me, which demoted him to one of my least favourite people for a short time. The silly thing is, most of what he said were complements. There was just one tiny little thing that bothered me. This is what he said:
'You've got a great eye for detail and your characterisation of characters that aren't named Ryan is spot on ;)'

Essentially, he told me my main character was the least convincing of the entire thing. This upset me because he is obviously the character who has been with me for the longest, and I thought I had a pretty good idea of what he was about.

Well, I'm starting to think that maybe he was right. As I'm adjusting certain things people are saying, it's all to do with how they are characterised, as in, 'this person wouldn't say that'. I now have what I would say is a good grasp on the way that Toby relates to people, and the way he speaks and moves. The same can be said for Lauren, Joe, Andy, Josh, even. And yet, when I come to editing Ryan's speech, all I seem to be doing is editing in terms of where I want the story to go. I rarely find myself saying 'he just wouldn't say it like that, it would be more like this.'

I'm worried that I've spent so much time looking through his eyes at the others, that I don't really know him.

I wonder if anyone has any advice on how to get to know a character better? I remember Kath's excercise of working out what is in their bag, and in Writers Forum a few months ago, there was an excercise that centred around knowing a character's diet.

While we're on the topic, does anybody else miss Penny Deacon? She used to do a monthly workshop article in WF. She helped me greatly with my fight scene, and is a lovely lady. Due to other commitments, she had to stop writing for WF every month, which is understandable, but a great shame.

The Shining

Yesterday, I stood in front of a mirror wearing the actual dress that I will get married in. It was a very bizarre moment. I am in love with the dress, I'm so glad I chose it. I would post a picture, but I'm keeping it a secret from Rob until I'm walking down that aisle. Oh but it's amazing. We've been looking for Bridesmaid's dresses too, and have seen some gorgeous ones.

I finally finished The Shining after three library renewals and a surprisingly low number of sleepless nights (I'm a grown up now, apparently). I thought I would share my thoughts and first impression of Author Stephen King, as this is the first time I have read any of his work. I'd avoided him firstly because I used to be a wimp with this stuff, and secondly because I had a preconceived idea in my head that anyone who churns out as many books as that in such a short time can't put any real care into them. I saw him as trash fiction in the horror genre. I was wrong.

I get the impression he has put a lot of thought into these characters and their backgrounds and motivations. One thing my sister and I discussed was that he seems to have whole chapters of pure back story and character reflection, which is a risky business. As writers, perhaps we forget that not everybody is as interested, at least not yet, about the characters we write. I know I'm guilty of it. However, Stephen King does this well, without breaking the tension or the flow of the story. It is because of these moments of reflection that the reader begins to hope that everything works out alright (apparently this is not a real word. Who knew.) for the characters. Needless to say, it doesn't. 

I would say that I'm a fairly good judge for this, as I am in incredibly impatient reader. I will only be impressed by or even get through a long chapter or paragraph that has no dialogue or not much actually happening if I am already hooked and care about the characters. In this case, I was. 

The characters are well developed, the relationships between them are very well depicted, and Danny, in my mind the central character, is portrayed particularly well. He has managed to capture the voice and mindset of a five year-old by who has seen too much very well.

There is a moment at the end, which (gruesome as various things are in this scene,) was perhaps my favourite part in the book; where Danny has that moment of understanding. His parents are not invincible. They cannot save him from this. He has to think carefully and has a moment of complete maturity where, with his life hanging in the balance, he appeals to his father's love, his father who is still in there somewhere. In this moment, he is the one being rational, and showing an intense amount of love where it is not obvious or at all easy. 

Overall, a very compelling read, a great ending, certainly not disappointing - it fitted well for the amount of build up given. The point is I ended up really caring what happened to these characters. I want that.

In my own writing news, all I can say is, though it is not in the Oxford English Dictionary, 'AAAARRGH'. You got the condensed version. I'm ploughing on with the final chapters, but meanwhile have shown some previous scenes to Rob and realised there are so many gaps of things I have written in my head, but not on the page. We'll get there. But I can;t believe it's taking so long.

I've just been reminded we are going out for dinner tonight, which I had forgotten and so had a Madison's lunch. Madisons make the best sandwiches in town. Subway, move over. Seriously. They pack the filling in til it's absolutely stuffed. Delicious. Bring out the Rennies, I think...

Decreased Productivity = More Vampirism...

Dad's Christmas present sorted!

I'm really quite excited about Dad's Christmas present, and I can freely blog about it, I think, because he is not much of an internet user. I was in Doncaster a few weeks back getting to know the place before I had to go to my practical test for the YMCA receptionist job (which, by the way, fell on its arse because the stupid snow delayed my train and I was late. 'Don't call us, we'll call you.' Those were almost their exact words. Needless to say, they didn't.) and as I walked past WH Smith, I noticed a poster about a book signing by The Hairy Bikers. For anyone who doesn't know, they are celebrity chefs, and my Dad is a massive fan. So I was very excited. Bought their new book '12 Days of Christmas' and noted down the date so I could go back and get it signed. 

I popped back on the 7th, last Tuesday, and queued for an hour (yes, there were that many people. I was quite near the front.) before they arrived.

They are lovely chaps, and were having a proper giggle with people, but I was a bit out of place, I felt. I'll admit, I didn't really know what to say other than 'My Dad is a big fan'. I'm pretty bad with this kind of stuff, but anyway, I got the book signed, said thank you and was on my way. I keep wanting to tell Dad about it but I can't, of course. 

So, an update on my writing productivity... well it's lagging. Every time I sit down to write I end up scrolling through aimlessly, randomly editing bits and pieces, thinking about how much needs to change before I can call it a first draft and despairing at how much time that is going to take. I was either naive or overly optimistic to imagine I could possibly get it finished by the end of November. But I can't push it back again, it's already taken four years to write and I feel like I'm wading through treacle. 

And whenever I get to this sort of stage, silly things happen. I have mentioned before that my characters have a tendency to become vampires when my attention is waning. Well, it's happened again. I've been getting worked up over my ending, trying to get it done, but not. It has turned into a very abrupt realisation that the fact that Andy and Ryan have been fighting over who gets to eat Lauren is void because Lauren is also a vampire. So they give up and go home.

It's all very amusing, but I'm cursing myself, because I realise how much effort and how many words it took to write that, which could have been put towards actual writing. In all honestly I think I'm itching to edit. 

I went to Hull Central Library today to do some research. I know. Wrong order. But I realised my research into things like insomnia, phobias, various injuries aquired is very limited. I'm trying to base everything on vaguely recalled experiences. And maybe that's why my story is seeming quite thin. 

Part of the problem with my lack of focus is perhaps to do with the state of my desk (right). Yes, that is my credit card bill pinned to Ryan Hunter's thigh... hope it didn't hurt. I've cleared it up a bit, though now my bed is covered... I need to sort my life out.

On the plus side, I'm now on The Goodwin Centre's Local Work Guarantee Scheme, which means I can apply for placements and work trials with a much bigger chance of acceptance, and hopefully a job at the end of a 13 week placement. 

Final Chapter Settings (How the weather can change everything...)

Rob and I last winter at High Wood, Horsham

As I said before, my ending is coming together. I was inspired when I looked around at the snow and realised that this is the exact time of year I should be writing about, given the timescale of my story and when it begins (mid October, I think). This is good, as it means my research is fresh and I have the weather right here.

I've been flicking through photos from last winter, when we had a snow fall just like this one. I've included pictures from last year because I was down South during the snow fall, and therefore most of the pictures are from High Wood cornfield, down the road from my parents' house. This place is gorgeous. Every season it tells a story. Every season it has a different charm to it, always breathtaking. 

This place is my inspiration for for my final chapter settings (I say final loosely). I had always wanted to involve it in some way in this story, but had always pictured it to be in the Summer, when the corn is waist-high and golden. As it turned out, the timescale of the story did not allow for this, so instead I wrote the scene to be cold. It was a bit plain. I didn't finish the scene before I realised this. Then the snow came. Having seen High Wood in the deep snow, I realised that this would be perfect. I have another image flashing across my mind, but can't say it because it would be a spoiler.

High Wood under snow, 2009

Just from the initial edit (I can't help but edit as I go along...), changing the weather from cold to actual snow, so many little details have changed. Like what boots Lauren pulls on, where...a certain person chooses to stand, how loud someone's footsteps would be, even what clothes the characters are wearing. 

I would like to set up a standalone page to post character profiles, short synopsis and other details about this story, but I can't work out how to get one. Can anyone help?