A View from the Cutting Room Floor

I have now finished my placement at Hooper, which I am gutted about. I really didn't want to leave on Friday, and I’m seriously considering volunteering. I even had a dream I went back to visit and they needed me to cover while they were in a meeting. I’m such a geek. But anyway, promising things in the pipeline; a couple of weeks ago, the manager of Danny’s Dream (a charity that provides care and support for those with disabilities and learning difficulties) asked if she could have a word in her office when I mentioned it was my last week the following week. She asked if I had considered applying as a PA for them (which is what Rob does), and strongly encouraged me to do so because she didn't want to see me go and then be jobless. So I applied. She sounds pretty enthusiastic, and another member of staff said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets you an interview.’ But, as he pointed out later, it doesn't seem like she’ll need much persuading… So yes. Very promising.

I finished The Book Thief (finally), and it is so well written. I will probably write a whole other post about it because there is so much to say. 

 Now that I have time on my hands, I seem to have pressed ahead with editing. But this time, instead of just scrolling aimlessly through the entire text, tweaking anything that leaps out, I have focussed my attention on a single paragraph. I thought I would share with you the process I went through, just to give an idea of where I’m at with things right now.

I pulled out the paragraph that introduces one of the main characters, Lauren, and realised that it was not sufficient to set up this character and her relationship to the protagonist, Ryan. So, I printed out the paragraph, with a few lines either side for context and got my blue pen out. Here is the paragraph before editing:

Ryan sighed and shoved his books in his bag as the others filed out of the door. As he stepped outside, he breathed in the scent of rain on tarmac, a rich, tangy smell of the manmade and the natural combining.  The light drizzle clung to his face. He headed towards the common room, raking back his damp hair. It would probably be crowded, so he hurried.

Lauren was already there, sporting a purple trilby with black pinstripes. It perched on top of her midnight black hair perfectly, emphasising her heart-shaped face. Ryan pushed through all the nameless people to get to her. The smell of damp teenagers and mud hit his nostrils. This is why he disliked the rain. There was a corner of the common room with several big cushions. Lauren was sat leaning back over two of them on the floor; this was their spot.

She looked up and beamed. It was his favourite smile – one that gave her dimples and made her emerald eyes look radiant. Alongside her pale skin and symmetrical face, it made her look even more like a porcelain doll.

She was wearing a purple, long sleeved top, which had a gold swirly design along the side. It was loose, hanging off her shoulders but clung to her figure in all the right places.

Lauren pulled out her left headphone when she saw Ryan.

Firstly, her outfit was all wrong. I’ll admit, I have spent far too much of my time working out her outfits – it’s a small indulgence of mine, but it really has helped me to get a clearer picture of her. Her clothes reflect her personality, and I think it’s too easy to forget the usefulness of clothes to portray some really potent things about a character. I cut out bits and pieces from magazines and printed some out from the net until I had assembled her outfit. It made it easier to visualise and describe.

Secondly, I realised the arrangement of the sentences describing her were clumsy and stuck out a bit. It didn’t flow or fit in with Ryan’s thoughts. It needed to be more centred around Ryan’s perceptions. I asked myself these questions: Why would he notice her outfit and why is it important? What does Lauren mean to him? Obviously, I went on to answer them. He notices her outfit because it’s part of her character – she expresses herself through her clothes and the way she presents herself. Ryan has a soft spot for her, and while it becomes obvious in the way they act with each other, I felt I needed to put across Ryan’s thoughts about her. I need to get inside his head more. I think as narrator I am often too detached.

This is one of the most important relationships in the story, so I needed to set it up better. I went for sentences and thoughts that served the dual purpose of describing her and showing how Ryan feels about her.

Here is the paragraph after editing:

Ryan sighed and shoved his books in his bag as the others filed out of the door. As he stepped outside, he breathed in the scent of rain on tarmac, a rich, tangy smell of the manmade and the natural combining.  The light drizzle clung to his face. He headed towards the common room, raking back his damp hair. It would probably be crowded, so he hurried.

Lauren was already there, sat on a bean bag and leaning against the wall in their usual corner. Her headphones trailed from each ear, disappearing into the pocket of her hoodie. Ryan smiled to himself; he liked today’s outfit – it suited her, as always. She wore black tights and denim shorts, which clung to her curves in all the right places. Her hoodie was black with multi-coloured stars. Ryan liked it on her. The stars matched her personality well; colourful and bold. Pretty without being feeble.

Lauren was definitely pretty. She studied the world through large, bright green eyes, and had that way of looking at him that made him want to see beyond them. Black bobbed hair framed her face, which made it look heart-shaped. Perched on her head was a black trilby – the perfect finishing touch.

Ryan pushed through all the nameless people to get to her. The smell of damp teenagers and mud hit his nostrils. This is why he disliked the rain.

She looked up and beamed. It was his favourite smile – one that gave her dimples and made her emerald eyes look radiant. Alongside her pale skin and button nose, it made her look even more like a porcelain doll.

Lauren pulled out her left headphone when she saw Ryan.

I’d really like to know about any other editing techniques or processes that you find work well, so please share. But right now, I need to go swimming.

A Very Happy Geek

I think I might genuinely be in love with Peter Brett. I mean I'm not about to call off the wedding or anything, purely for financial reasons. (I'm kidding, Rob... Peat's a married man :P). But anyway, the man defiitely knows how to make me smile. 

So I got home from my week visiting the parents to find an envelope with a warded sender address label sat by my door. 

After I had finished jumping around and squealing, I managed to carefully open it, and this is what was inside:

I am a bit happy. Seriously, what a genuinely lovely man. He paid for postage and everything. I love that. He could so easily say 'I'm a very busy man' and let the fans run around and do what they like, but I love the fact that he wants to be so personally involved with his readers. He constantly runs competitions and has an active presence in his blog, which is just lovely. 

Not only that, but after I had sort of assumed that Brayan's Gold, his filler novella that tells the story of Arlen's adventures that aren't covered in The Painted Man or The Desert Spear, was out of print I stumbled across it on Amazon. I ordered one very sceptically, expecting it not to come, or it to be the wrong one. Yesterday, lo and behold:

So as you can tell, I'm a very happy geek. Except, I have the problem of wanting to read Brayan's Gold, but I don't want to ruin it. I also have the problem with my other recent purchase:

Also first edition, I might add. I had actually forgotten that it had come out, which is ridiculous after how long it has been in the making. But I was very lucky to stumble across it. I'm having a good, geeky week.

I've been able to read a bit more of The Book Thief as well, which is getting very intense. Really enjoying it. 

So I know this is more of a reading post than a writing one, but I felt that some of you might appreciate my geeky endeavours. Anyone else excited by this beast of a book? I don't know when I'm going to be able to read it though. I still have a massive pile to read, and judging by the amount of time it's taken me to read the Book Thief, well. 

Anyway, that's all from me tonight. Thanks for reading :)

Living, Observing, Writing.

It has been a while, my friends. Many apologies - life got a hold, I'm afraid. But here I am with tales to tell, and I've had a pretty good week. Rob and I have just got back from our first Youth Group session, to which a grand total of 2 youth turned up. That's a whole 2 more than last time... It's been great though. We had a laugh with them and got into some quite deep discussions, so we have an idea of our game plan for the coming month.

The best picture I can get of my little emo fish.

I want to say quite honestly that I love my job. I know, right, I'm 'just a receptionist'. But I'm really enjoying it. I like knowing what's going on, I like getting to know people and helping them out, and I like that I get to meet so many different people each day. I've been building relationships with people and learning more about the world through them, and that is what living is all about. I'm getting so many opportunities to observe people too, to observe relationships and the way different people relate to each other, and cope in various situations. And, getting to my point, that is all a part of the writing process.

While I haven't been physically writing much, I have picked up on character traits and relationships that are really informing my writing, and I've just been noticing things in people around me that I think could be worth writing about. I know I'm being vague.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can be easy as a writer to fall into the desk trap - being sat at a desk with a blank page staring back, forcing yourself to write when it's the last thing you feel like doing. And yes, there needs to be a certain amount of discipline to writing. But we shouldn't be afraid to get out there and live in the world about which we are trying to write. (Of course, different rules apply for fantasy writers, although even then, you still need a good idea of people and how they relate to one another.)

I'm still looking for a job, as this one unfortunately ends in April, and I'm really thinking about the type of place I want to work in. Ideally, I want to work in a sixth form college. And the irritating thing is, I'm pretty sure I was going to be offered a job at a sixth form college, but it was only cleaning and part time. In competition with the Hooper Placement, it just wasn't worth it. But seeing as I'm writing Young Adult Fiction, it would be really good to be working amongst Young Adults. Because I'm getting old. I'm not a teenager anymore, as much as it pains me, and I'm forgetting what it's like. I won't have teenage children for at least another 16 years, so I need to be in a place in which I can observe the behavior of this age group.

I have been typing up a few hastily scrawled scenes, including a dialogue between Ryan (the main character) and his ex, which they started having in my head while I was trying to book a room for someone. No idea where it came from, but I think it will really add to the dynamic of the two of them. We hear so much in Ryan's thoughts and people talking about what Anna is like, but the only time we get to see what she is like with Ryan is that first argument they have. So it will be very revealing to show her trying to win his favour back.

This post has been sat in my drafts for a week or two now, so many apologies. I was informed this morning by way of a very excited phonecall from the lovely Nikki, that I have a letter waiting for me at home, marked with 'Peter. V. Brett' on the front. I screamed just a little bit when she told me. I shall fill you in once I am back in Hull. (I'm currently in Horsham visiting my parents and sorting out wedding stuff.)

As for now, I'm going to have a cup of tea. God bless my wonderful father. 

Giggles, Shanequa and Sneaky Drafting...

Russell Howard

What a funny little man. Definitely worth the £30 ticket just to see his lovely pink thong. That, my friends, is dedication to comedy.  He was ace. If you are thinking of going to see him anytime soon, definitely do - I haven't laughed so hard since, well, since Ross Noble to be honest. I'd say that's a big compliment to Russell Howard. Rob and I both couldn't stop smiling the whole weekend. Imagine having a job like that - where your job description is purely based on cheering people up and making people smile. Perhaps it is escapism, and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that. Because we'd never get anywhere as a country if we were all always miserable, which seems to be the case these days. Lets all cheer up a bit, agreed? 

The other thing that's making me smile this week is about two inches long, orange, and currently rearranging her gravel. My friend Samm is a fish enthusiast and has had this little Cichlid for a while now. He began to resent her after she killed her sister, but noticed how fond of her I was becoming. One day a few weeks back, he offered to give her to me for free, because he derived that I loved her more than he did. She moved in with me just two days ago and is settling in very well :). She woke me up this morning by throwing her gravel at the walls. Her name is Shanequa, and I'm very pleased that she likes it in my room. I'm afraid she's quite camera shy, so I will post a photo when I can sneak one of her.

  

So I finally renewed my subscription to Writers' Forum a couple of weeks ago, and with the forwarding service my two wonderful parents have in place for me, I have received not only March's issue, but February's as well. So I have a lot of catching up to do. A Facebook friend had mentioned to me that there was a response to my letter in the March edition, so naturally, I flipped right to it. It seems my idea of shameless plugging has caught on. That makes me happy, but remember, you heard it here first. I hope to respond to this letter in time for the next edition, so keep an eye out.  

In writing news, I'm afraid I don't have much. It's been all go on the wedding front these past few weeks, but now I have my beautiful Nokia E5 working again (after 3 replacements, it turned out it was the battery all along, which they insisted I keep each time), I am able to edit on the bus and such. I know, whatever happened to a good old fashioned pen and paper? That's fine for first drafts, but when I've got so much to work with, it's difficult not having it in front of me. That said, though, when my colleagues are out at lunch I have been known to be scribbling ideas on scrap paper. It's just finding the time to write them up which I'm struggling with.

Still, the more time I spend here worrying about it, the less time I spend writing, so I shall keep this entry short and sweet. 

One final thing, though, relating to my last entry on the use of profanity in a story; I'm still reading The Book Thief (I know, get a move on), and there is little profanity in this book. However, there is a high use of the phrase 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph' as a curse, and other variations of the sentiment, which actually bothers me far more than the F word would. Swearing is one thing, but the use of names in this way is a bit far, I think. 

Anyway, have a good weekend :)

Oh, Profanity...

So, my ginger cake turned into apple and ginger pie, consumed at midnight with my lovely friends who are pretty much family. It was ok, but not my best. Rubbish pastry, but then I guess I should follow a recipe.

The Fancy Folder for CQ

It's been a while since I posted here, as I have been insanely busy, and I'm really not used to having so little time on my hands. The job is going really well - they've started leaving me on my own now, which is great. Although half the time when the phone rings in those instances, it's someone asking for my colleague. Still, I'm getting there. I've got to know most people and which companies/projects they work for now, there's just a few I'm still getting to know. I've even memorised a few extension numbers. We have a fancy new website, if you care to take a look. 

I was getting a bit frustrated, as I have not been able to do much writing recently. I've had a Local Preaching Assignment to do, a Sunday service to plan, my ongoing ITQ to complete, and now I'm also attending a 10 week long drawing class with the lovely Nikki Joy. But yesterday I overcame this, as I had a bit of scrap paper at the desk, which I was scribbling ideas on when it was quiet. So, I've got a few things to be getting on with, and I drafted a dialogue/argument last night between Joe and Anna, brother and sister, after he has just discovered who she likes to share a bed with. 

My First Draft

One of the things Rob has picked me up on several times when making suggestions for CQ is the amount of swearing. I'm still trying to decide if I see it as a problem. The ruling at Uni was so long as it fits in and adds to the story - don't swear for the sake of it. Most, if not all the swearing in my book is used perfectly naturally and in keeping with the characters. I've tried taking some of them out, but it just makes the characters sound wierd and awkward. I try not to swear a lot myself, but 16/17 year-old college kids tend not to care so much. 

I'd really like to hear what you think about swearing in young adult fiction, or in fiction at all. It used to be something I was really prudish about as a kid, oddly enough. 

As the manuscript currently stands, with 54,138 words, 36 of those are the F word, 11 are the P word, and 7 are the S word. There are a few instances of slightly inflammatory name-calling, but I'm not sure if they count. And I'm not counting the word 'bloody'. 

I've decided that I need a lot more of a view into the world of the antagonist, Andy. We need to see his motivations, his surroundings, all the things that make him the way he is. But also the effect he has on those around him, and the effect they have on him. I want to show more of the dynamic of him and his two friends and how they operate as a group. 

I finally got round to buying Chiodos' new album, Illuminaudio, which I am slightly obsessed with. There's one song in particular, Notes in Constellations, which I cannot get out of my head. It's a wonderful song. It makes me think of Ryan and Lauren. I can't get them out of my head either, and I keep getting ideas of how I can edit little bits or change the dynamic of particular scenes between them. I've already rewritten the crucial scene between them and made it much more realistic, much more affectionate, I guess. Before it was almost too understated. But I've got lots of ideas for them, so it's good.

Let's just hope I can make the time to actually write about it. 

Anyway, I've been trying to keep up with everyone's blogs, and I have to say, it looks like your writing years have all made for a very good start. Well done everyone and keep up the hard work :)

I must go so that I can get some writing done and finish my assignment before our cake party tonight. I love cake. 

Welcome to the life of a receptionist.

Russell Howard, Comedian.

 I am a very happy bunny. For Christmas, my parents gave me a Ticketmaster giftcard, which I was over the moon about. The one thing that I have felt the lack of from living on benefits is going to gigs, both of the music and comedy varieties. So I logged on the other day to see if, by any crazy chance, there might be any seats left for Russell Howard, and, lo and behold, there were. I spent every single penny of my giftcard on the man and have been grinning from ear to ear ever since. I think he's lovely, as Rob will bear witness to. There's just something so positive and optimistic about most of his comedy. His philosophy of life seems to be 'cheer up, stop moaning and see the funny side', and I love that. The tickets came through the door this morning, so bring on February. 

I must apologise for my lack of posting. I started my placement on Tuesday and haven't really had much time to spare. I'm just getting used to the working world. I'm really enjoying it so far - I'm working on reception in a building owned by Goodwin, and the people I'm working with are lovely. (I'll get my fiver later for saying that.) I'm just getting to know who's who and who works for which company, which is all a bit confusing, but I'm getting there. 

Anyway, Writing news. I don't have huge amounts other than a few things I forgot to mention last time. I tried to go sale shopping the other week, and I realised that I completely suck at it. I tried on one pair of jeans, which I didn't even buy, then I ended up in Blue Banana talking to a member of staff about my 'sixteen year-old sister, Lauren.'

In case you didn't know, I don't have a sixteen year-old sister. My sister is 23 and called Heather. Lauren is one of my main characters.

Does this mean I am officially crazy? Or just a filthy liar?

Well, it was fun, and it got me thinking on my feet. I actually found it to be a really good excercise, because she really came alive in my head. I was imagining her response to all the things I 'was considering buying for her', and at the same time working out her style and outfits. If you've never done it, try it. It's cheaper than the cinema.

Or if you're not into the whole lying thing, then good old-fashioned hot-seating is just as good. I used to love Hot-Seating in Drama. It's essentially where you have someone interviewing you as your character, so it's all about initial reactions and what feels right. 

I bought a fancy big folder for my First Draft, which I'm still putting into all the folders. I have had a bit of a chance to work on it again, but only scribbling in pencil on it. I woke up thinking about the latter scenes this morning, which does happen a lot. I'm just trying to make the damn thing actually work. I'm also wondering just how messed up Andy really is, bearing in mind that this is a teen/young adult fiction. So one of the things I'm looking into is some flashbacks into Andy's childhood to get a feel for his motivations. 

But right now, I need to buy treacle and other such stuff because I plan to bake a ginger cake to test run my Christmas present from Nikki... check her blog to find out what it is ;). 

Hopefully it will look like this...

A View from Year's End

Welcome to 2011 everyone. Let's make this one count. I can't say I'm sad to see the back of 2010. It was a tough year. I shan't say it was long, because honestly, everything since Spring has been a bit of a blur. A lot has happened, A lot has changed. I turned 21, gained a degree and graduated with a 2:1, moved house, bought a wedding dress, even got a job, finally. And I've lost people. Two wonderful people. The greatest role model I think I will ever have the privilege to know. But we carry on. We just have to.

Rob has just set down my manuscript and is staring at me. I'm worried.

I'm actually very impressed. He set out to read  just after lunch (fajita pancakes - lovely), and has got to page 167 just after 10:00. I knew when I handed it to him that there are a lot of gaps, a lot of rushed, unedited scenes, and a lot of things that just don't work, which made it even harder to hand over. But, I had a deadline, and I wanted to keep to it. I should say, I started this post on the 1st, it is now the 3rd. I got distracted, as Rob then proceeded to give me feedback. I have been tangled up in a confusing state of elation, pride, frustration and sulking.

But, all feedback is helpful, I should remind myself. And I should remember not to focus on the negatives too hard. Because a lot of what Rob said was good, and was very encouraging. Certainly for the first two thirds, he laughed in the right places, smiled at the bits I am most proud of, I would say he gasped at the revelations, but he didn't, as he pretty much already knew most of the secrets. This was a shame, as I'd like to see the impact these would have on a first reading. I try to remember his initial reactions when I first told or showed him . 

Either way, the thing that I take away from this initial feedback is that most of the characters, some more than others, are believable and likeable. One or two of the characters, though, need to be developed more, and shown more. Also, quite clearly, the ending needs work. A lot. Of work. 

This is what I have been sulking about. Ok, so it is the part that I have edited, reworked and looked over the least, but it upsets me that this is quite so obvious. There are other scenes I bashed out literally about half an hour before I 'submitted' my manuscript, which my lovely but honest marker said was great. Granted, they were much shorter, but still, I wonder why this is so? I guess it just is. 

But, I should be comforted that all that hard work on earlier chapters obviously paid off. So, more of the same for the latter part. 

Feedback is like medicine - it tastes bitter and like it's probably going to kill you, but in the end it's good for you. 

So, I have a workload for 2011. But the good thing about this whole exercise is that now I have my workload ordered. I have, for all intents and purposes, a manuscript template, with all the bits, or most of the bits, that should be in there marked as 'to be completed'. So for the most part, my second draft aim is filling in the blanks, joining the dots. A little bit of rewriting, then a third draft can be more focussed. That's the plan, anyway. 

And what was I doing while Rob ploughed through my manuscript? I was playing Oblivion, of course. I'm now the Arch-Mage, though it's taken me long enough, and I managed to kill a Xivilai in one hit, which I thought was rather impressive. I snuck up on him, so got 6x damage. I also bought a dress in the Shivering Isles, which I thought looks rather cool, alongside the Sanguine Rose staff. I'm a geek, I know.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is making good progress with their writing, and I wish you all a happy writing year.